MOSS SIDE BARROW BOY PART TWO

So much for the Boro. My next call was to Mick the Lips, an old contact of mine from Dagenham who kept his ear to the ground and knew the workings of football like Sepp Blatter. Indeed I believe the Swiss FIFA President was one of his more illustrious clients.

"Hallo Mickey, it's Tel."

"All right Terry, interested in owning a dog?" came the response, rasped out like a condensed Woodbine.

"What would I want with a dog? I'm married."

"Well, it's like this. Let's just assume for a moment that the aforementioned animal is carrying something in its stomach, and that when certain forces of nature occur, there might be a little present there to make you smile. You could say that your eyes will sparkle like diamond lights."

"What are you talking about, you nonce. I'm after getting back into management. Can you tell me what's available?"

"Hold on then, I'll have a Frank at the files." There was a pause whilst the nodes of Mick the Lips' brain went creaking into action. A dog, I ask you. That was Mick, always with a scam and not afraid to share it with his mates.

"What about West Ham, then? They've just given 'Appy 'Arry his cards, and are on the Roger Cook for a replacement."

"Nah, too close to home."

"Please yourself. There's Villa. Old John Gregory isn't the most popular of lads with Deadly Doug."

"No big fan of Deadly's myself, Mick."

"How about Europe, then? Atletico Madrid?"

"Mick, I want a permanent job, not a chance to get sacked after three weeks because the club chef serves Jesus Gil with the wrong meat dish."

"Ah, this might be it - Manchester City. What do you reckon to that, Tel? Like it?"

"Yeah, I do actually. I might nip down there and get it sorted out."

"Right, I'll get some of the lads to sort the Ian Beale out with David Bernstein."

"Look Mick, I'm sure I can get this job on merit. I just wanted your advice."

"All right, Tel, keep your Alans on. Just trying to help."

But he had helped. The next thing I knew, I was off to south Manchester to get a job. On the Middlesbrough to Manchester train (no first class! Scandalous for a classy guy like myself!) I had a think about the job I was letting myself in for. Manchester's second club was now so far behind United that it was a bit like watching Donna Air trying to outwit Carol Vordeman, and that was a contest I wouldn't have minded seeing. It appeared that getting out from behind Old Trafford's shadow was something City just couldn't manage. Even when Maine Road brought the league title home in 1969, Sir Matt knocked them off the pedestal by winning the European Cup. And that was one of the better chapters in their history! In recent years, whilst Salford witnessed glory on an almost unimaginable scale City went into sharp decline, at one point ending up in Division Two. It had taken Joe Royle's pragmatic approach to get them back on their feet, along with a new Board that cut down the massive number of administrators and brought the club into the new millennium. Now facing a brighter future, it was apparent that the 'Citizens' were hungry for success, and I might just be the man to bring it to them.

"Terry! Great to see you!" David Bernstein exclaimed, as I strolled into his office.

"So who's on your managerial shortlist?" I asked.

"Well, we've got Dave Bassett, Ron Atkinson, Mike Walker, and we've just received word that Bryan Robson might be interested."

We paused, mulling over the quality I was up against.

"So, er, when can you start?"

That was my interview, and before I knew it I was moving to Didsbury and meeting my players for the first time. Watching the bedraggled bunch of lightweights shuffle in before me, I identified two things. One was that City's squad was almost a city in itself - 47 players, and I use that term loosely for some of them. Secondly, I was going to need new blood if I was going to drag this team back into the Premiership. I was on the dog and bone to Mick the Lips with rapier speed, and asking him to get in touch with his Scandinavian people. We needed Swedes like Graham Taylor needed good headlines, and we needed them fast.

Click here for Part Three.