MOSS SIDE BARROW BOY PART THIRTEEN

I was impressed with my old club, Middlesbrough. Without actually buying a single new player since the start of the season apart from defender Steve Foster, Steve 'Mac' McClaren had guided the Teessiders to second in the Premiership, where they were hot on the heels of leaders Arsenal. The press had already asked Mac whether he felt his side could challenge for the title, and perhaps wisely, he declined to comment. All the same, Southgate and Ehiogu could hardly put a foot wrong for Boro right now. Manchester United were typically well placed in third, whilst Fulham, Charlton and West Ham made up an all-London relegation trio. Glenn Roeder had been told in no uncertain terms by the Hammers that he had better start producing the goods, which added flavour to our League Cup tie in a week's time.

In France, Marseille led. The southern giants had taken advantage of the loan market to take Standard Liege's striker, Jurgen Cavens for the season, and he currently led the league in scoring and the geeky Opta Stats reckoning. Ibrahim Ba and Florian Maurice were also high in the charts. An interesting five-way tussle for honours was developing in Holland. Ajax, PSV and Feyenoord were not surprising names to see at the top, but joining the big three were De Graafschap and Vitesse. Two points marked a meagre separation. It was Feyenoord's players who dominated the rankings, with Pierre van Hooijdonk in particularly good form. Nottingham Forest's fans much have felt their hearts swell over his success.

AC Milan had Serie A in a stranglehold, having led for much of the Italian campaign. Roma and Bologna were sitting reasonably pretty four points behind. Scotland, as you can probably imagine, was as dull as ever. Celtic led Rangers by a point, with the pack lagging and disappearing in their dust. The Old Firm's players held a similar monopoly over the ratings, interestingly. Henrik Larsson was perhaps the pick of the bunch, but then when wasn't he? Things were a little more worth my while in Spain, where Valladolid were setting the pace. The goalkeeping talents of Argentine Albano Bizzarri buoyed up the makeweights, whilst Dragan Ciric on the wing also impressed. Valencia were their main challengers, but Real Madrid lagged in fourth place, and Charley Rexach was under considerable pressure to get Barca's season on track. The highest the Nou Camp had been was seventh and Rexach had been informed that his job rested on his ability to improve affairs.

I was tempted to remind Barcelona that this wouldn't have happened if I was still in charge there, but I resisted. Instead I sorted out the transfer of Gary Lunt, a 20-year old defensive midfielder from Runcorn who was making all the headlines in the Conference. Lunt was never going to do much outside the reserves this season, but I liked the cut of his gib. Besides, he cost a mere £60k, so the gamble for a potentially fine player was hardly considerable, and the chances of me being made to look a silly Lunt were small.

In a surprisingly dry midweek game at Maine Road we entertained West Bromwich Albion, who were breathing down our necks in fourth place. Gary Megson had certainly put together a decent team, with striker Jason Roberts and Larus Sigurdsson in defence earning the plaudits. It was a lovely evening for football; I had my full side to choose from, so I didn't expect to be sucker-punched by Tom Youngs's 10th minute strike for the Baggies. Steve Howey was clearly wondering whether to have curry or a kebab for his supper when he ignored Adam Chambers's chip forward to Youngs, who then bent a great shot in from long range. No wonder it was great, as he was unmarked. Stefan Selakovic was able to go one better though as we meandered towards the half-hour mark. His free kick from 20 yards out was full of virtue, and left Alan Kelly clutching at Mancunian air.

Afterwards, the two First Division giants slugged it out largely in midfield. Tonton Zola Moukoko was having an unusually quiet game and failed to make an impression on the opposition, whilst our defence held firm, with Phyllis Pearce in barking form. It took To Madeira's appearance in the second half to break the deadlock. Coming on for the tiring Wanchope, he waited until the 80th minute before taking Andreas Andersson's right-sided cross and heading in. To celebrated alone. Was it just me? Or were there two tiny horns starting to protrude from his skull? I probably needed to get more sleep. Mark Kerr then took charge to settle the game. With a low cross to the far post, he found Andersson unmarked, and the Swede casually tapped it in. Our fourth was perhaps a little hard on Megson's lads, who had performed well, but it was good for little Shaun Wright-Phillips, who had entered the fray in place of Moukoko. Kerr again caused the damage, spotting Ian Wright's nephew running into the box and sending a high ball for him to deal with. Kelly jumped with Wright-Phillips but the forward rose dolphin-like and headed into an empty net. Fabulous.

Later that week, I discovered that Ali Benarbia had tripped over his own feet whilst training and would be unavailable for three weeks. This meant we had no cover for Kerr, so I did a quick net search to see who was available on a loan deal. In time for the weekend Stockport match, we had Michael Ferrante in City colours and available for a month. The young Australian from West Ham was never likely to set the world on fire, but he did look competent and appeared hungry for action. He would start on the bench.

So we set off the few miles down the road to Edgeley Park, where Andy Kilner had managed to get County into last place. It wasn't hard to see why. Realistically Stockport were a small side, especially compared to the likes of ourselves. The supporters underwhelmed me also. Everyone seemed to wear identical Ben Sherman shirts, drank Robinson's bitter and shaved their heads, even the ladies. It was like watching a National Front rally.

The less said about this game the better. Not only did County beat us 1-0 when Trevor Challis, a bleeding defender sucker-punched us from a corner, his first goal for the club, just to rub things in we then lost Wanchope. It was a minor injury, and would only see him out for a week, but it happened when we had used all our substitutes. We had to play the last 15 minutes with ten men, and never looked like helping ourselves. It was a sombre exit from Stockport that evening.

No doubt the players were all keyed up for the next game, our League Cup third round tie against the Hammers. This would not only be a money-spinner, but also a test of how good we really were. We were, after all, still top in the division and overwhelming favourites to go up. My one change saw To Madeira start in place of Wanchope, and the Portuguese striker pressed his advantage early. 12 minute were on the clock when he won the ball from Tomas Repka following a Selakovic corner and headed past David James. Shortly afterwards, he had another chance, a volley that England keeper James managed to save with his genitalia, but the ball rolled out nicely for Kerr. 2-0, and James was left to writhe in pain for the duration of the game. To looked delighted with himself, his single eyebrow fierce, and he sealed it with his 54th minute goal. Tommi Gronlund barrelled forward and found him in the area. He then left Christian Dailly for dead, nutmegged Rigobert Song (doesn't everyone?) and drove low into the bottom corner. Andersson turned the win into a rout later when he volleyed in Kristian Bergstrom's penetrating cross.

A superb win then, made all the more satisfying because the Hammers were never really out of it. The shots count saw them take 8 chances compared with our 12, and I had to say in the post-match interview how pleased I was with our defensive steel. I earmarked Gronlund for praise as the Finn had been everywhere in leading the line, whilst To Madeira was one to watch. It was the latter who claimed the Man of the Match bubbly from a Worthington stooge, who handed it over nervously.

I later discovered that our next opponents would be the very dangerous Leeds United, who had dispatched Charlton Athletic. At least it was a home tie. And Paul Hince from the Manchester Evening News asked me to reply to the praise Mark Kerr had been receiving lately. Despite the Scot's youth and potential head swell factor, I was feeling charitable and said he was going to be a fabulous player for years to come. It was true, after all.

Wanna see how it all ends? Step this way...