A Big Brother Psychologist on Mark Kerr

As with all footballers, Mark does all his talking with his feet, but of course, he says much more with his hands.

Mark starts his career at Falkirk but it's pretty obvious that he doesn't expect to stay there long. You can see this by the way he makes v-signs at anyone from the club, or indeed anybody who mentions the name Falkirk. This is universal body language for someone showing clear enmity towards another.

It is widely believed in Scottish football that Mark has everything he needs to become one of its future stars. Pundits confidently predict a glowing career for him, with a rapid improvement in his game in all areas and a fearlessness to take part on whatever stage he stars, and he thinks he will star. We notice as much from the way he throws his arms wide so often. This is transparent body language meaning big, and it is what he is claiming about his chances of making it.

Later, in a restaurant we see him eating a traditional fish supper. Note the way he uses his fork to pick chips off his plate, and the cutting motion he makes with his knife to carve up the cod. Clearly, he intends to carve up any opposition in much the same way. Or it could be just the way he eats. How should I know?

What I do know is that Mark will not be staying at Falkirk for long. This is made obvious by the body language of the postman, stooping under the weight of offers he has to post to Falkirk, and by the bored way the club secretary rips another faxed bid from the machine. Interested parties can expect to get Mark for anything over £1m usually. He is willing to move to other Scottish clubs, but from the manner with which he enthusiastically packs his bags and points with his fingers into the distance, he would prefer to move to England, or the continent.

Mark knows that he is a winner, and this is made easy to spot in the loose gestures he constantly makes to his housemates, but he had better be careful. Too much confidence, and he'll find himself in danger of being up for eviction. Er, sorry, wrong game.