Liam Gallagher on Kim (f****n girl's name) Kallstrom

I choose to take an empirical stance when judging young players, preferring to observe their talents firsthand rather than form an opinion on the pronouncements of others. Is this fair? I believe enthusiastically, nay emphatically that it is. Such decisions can only be decisively formed by the predilections of one's own eyes, and these hoary orbs have seen something of a golden future in the immature shape of Kim Kallstrom.

Kallstrom, a tender, malleable 19, pursues a heady career from the attacking midfield role. This proffers some sense of liberty on his gilded shoulders, an opportunity to form both an implantation in midfield, whilst being unshackled to assist in commencing hostilities with those staffing the front line. Both roles he serves with some distinction. It has been noted in the annals that he will force an expenditure of approximately one million guineas, but that his estimation will surely appreciate if he is gainfully employed in a respective location by his pristine place of rest.

I'm sorry, is this tape recorder switched on?

In that case f****n bangin man yeah mad fer it yeah bangin geez I love Kim f****n love him man but not his f****n pansy girl's name what sort of f****n name is that me and ar kid'll come over an giv him a f****n slap yer f****n poof I tell you what else I love I f****n love women I love em birds me f****n do ain't that right ar kid love em all would do er f****n do yours if yer not careful yeah geez what's that yer startin yer startin yer f****n startin yer want sum do yer yer want me and ar kid to come over f****n Levenshulme s***e do yer yer startin ey Ey EY