INTRODUCTION

You're probably asking "Who the hell does he think he is to tell us how to write stories?" If your name is Nick Hornby, you probably have every right to pose the question, but for those who don't have their bums kissed by The Guardian each week, I'll tell you. You may not know that my first foray into scene work was via the CM Star forums. I regularly posted episodes about my managerial career in Frosinone, a tiny Italian club based in the forgotten depths of Serie C2C, and Chris was good enough to publish them on the main site (they're still there now, if you want a peek). I think he had a lot of revision to get through that month.

I might have been doing that now, but sadly the PC I played the game on was dying slowly. Things had become so desperate that formatting the hard disk had occurred once or twice, and reloading Windows ME was a regular occurrence. Once I had bought a new computer, the wheezy machine was palmed off onto my sister (we don't get on) and the game was lost.

Afterwards, I started new stories involving German minnows Kickers Offenbach, and later a 10-part thriller on the subject of Hull City. Neither was finished for various unexciting reasons, but the inspiration was there for me to introduce a brand new epic here, the popular/reviled (delete as applicable) Moss Side Barrow Boy, which chronicled Terry Venables's return to management with Manchester City. Hence the title - do you get it? This has now reached 12,000+ words, and is quickly turning into the War and Peace of the CM world, or at least one of those crappy potboilers by Jeffrey Archer.

So those are my credentials. The next question you might want me to field is "Why the hell do we need a guide to writing CM stories?" Many of you don't, of course. There are a number of top-class yarns kicking around, mostly to be found on the SI Games Community Forum, but within the scene at large the art of fictioneering is becoming extinct. With a few exceptions, stories rarely break out of their forum-based prison cell, giving way to articles, scene news and player/tactic reviews. This, in my opinion, is very sad. It should be clear that fiction is at the very heart of the CM experience, that gamers' written accounts not only offer tips on the game and gratuitous laughs, but also reflect the simple joy people get from their own little private worlds. Besides which, there's nothing wrong with good writing, and stories have given some contributors the opportunity to come up with some decent art at times. They offer nothing less than a chance to flex your creative muscles and expand your current game into a humanist saga with many characters and labyrinthine plot developments.

For as long as it takes, I'll be your guide in an in-depth look at CM storytelling. We'll look at all sorts of aspects - choosing a team, adding humour, plot, that kind of cobblers - so that for many of you missing school over the summer, this will be just like being back in GCSE English Literature. I'll even throw in some homework in the form of recommended reading. Perhaps I should have become a teacher…

GETTING STARTED - WHO TO MANAGE

Everyone paying attention? Then I'll begin. The first thing you should do is pick the team whose story will provide the backdrop for yours. Are there any rules as to who you select? Can one club provide more literary meat than another? Of course it can't. Should you go for your own side or a total unknown, you will have something to write about from the off, and each has its own history anyway. Whether your chosen charges have laid a glittering trail of trophies in their wake or languish in lower league limbo (note the alliteration - like it!) they all have some background to provide context for your tale.

The rule you should perhaps consider is to know a little about the team you've picked. An easy point to answer if you've chosen your hometown club, or a well-known side, but beware. Let's say you decide to be the gaffer at Manchester United. Are you really going to keep your readers spellbound with details and facts about your boys, or are you more likely to bore everyone senseless by rehashing information that everyone knows already. This isn't to say that being United is necessarily a bad thing, just that you might have to come up with a little more, such as in the tale Daniel at Project CM is currently spinning in which he is making a valiant attempt to get the Red Devils relegated. And good on him, too.

This issue leads nicely into the next one, which begs the question - what sort of challenge will the game provide? Again, you choose to oversee developments at Old Trafford. Why would anyone want to learn of your ability to win the Premiership with its biggest club? The best stories - as in all genres - is to attempt the impossible, or at least the extremely unlikely. At SI Games, a fella called Dixie Flatline has spent eight seasons taking Cartagonova from the Spanish Second Division B to triumph in the Primera Liga and European Cup.

On the way, he has suffered all sorts of pitfalls and setbacks, yet has still managed to transform a no-mark provincial side into the toast of world football. This is compelling reading. Even Bruce Willis in Die Hard mode would have trouble emulating such an achievement, especially as Stan Collymore was a feature of the side for some years. Now as challenges go, this is amongst the more extreme. You don't have to go to all this trouble to entertain us, but a sense of the yawning gap between where you are and what you want to accomplish - and the trials you face in the interim - will be gold to readers.

Back to the note about knowing something about your club then. You don't need to be on intimate terms with your new home and the players who share it with you. When I was writing the Frosinone story, I read all about the town whilst browsing the travel section at Waterstones in Deansgate, Manchester. Any extra details about the team and its players came from t'Internet, from the official site - which made this one look like a pre-Raphaelite work of art, quite frankly - and others like Italian-soccer.com. Add to this mix some Italian stereotyping, a few cameo appearances from Serie A stars and the slight influence of Joe McGinniss's The Miracle of Castel di Sangro, and that was it. I chose them first because I wanted to have a go with some pathetic outfit in a dead-end division (apparently no one ever leaves), and they were eminently qualified for the task. The giants of the division were Foggia, and they seemed too easy a proposition. Frosinone, with their decent-sized stadium, adequate facilities and zero bank balance, were tough but not suicidal, and that was good enough for me. And this sort of challenge might be just the thing for you too.

That's more or less it. You've got your club and you can instantly start to go on about what it is about, what you're there to do with it and how on earth you're going to achieve this thing. If you would like me to suggest a scenario for you, the sort of thing that could turn into an interesting saga, how about this:

"You are installed as the new manager of Rochdale FC. The Dale is the lowest placed of all the professional Greater Manchester clubs - United, City, Stockport, Bolton, Wigan, and Bury (if there are others that I've forgotten, I'll see you in court).

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to reverse this situation, transforming them into the region's premier team. Once you have won the Premiership and Champions Cup with Rochdale, resign and go for the same challenge with whichever of the remaining sides will have you."

FURTHER READING

Try having a crack at the aforementioned story by Dixie Flatline at SI Games Community Forum. You'll have to register to do this. The thread is entitled 'How to make your way in the Primera Liga (or not as the case may be)'. Note the level of detail, and the constant references to the manager's plight as he tries to keep his boys afloat when playing the likes of Barcelona and Real Madrid. With any luck, you'll enjoy it.

NEXT WEEK

In the next instalment of this gripping series, I'll look deeper into the art of fiction writing. You'll get my thoughts on plot, the level of detail you should go for, and considerations towards developing in-story characters to turn a dullsville CM game retread into a blockbuster. Terry "They used to play on Grass" Venables, eat your heart out.