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Ten
years after the dawn of the football management game,
the Personal Computer was weasling its way into peoples'
homes, and Microsoft started to exert a muscular grip
on the software market. Gremlin Graphics released Premier
Manager II, a simulation that redefined the genre, or
at least sketched out its rough draft.
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PM2
wasn't the software house's first excursion into management
games. I still remember having Footballer of the Year for the
Spectrum, a hoary classic in which you took on the unique role
of being a player, albeit one with managerial powers. In fact,
the only time you got to show your silky ball skills was when
it was time to take a penalty (useless advice now, but if you
planted the ball in the right corner you couldn't fail to score,
a tactic that England's penalty takers might do well to learn).
Considering the Speccy's limitations, it wasn't a total loss,
but it was very easy. The game lived or died on the lottery
option, where - if you kept on buying tickets - you would always
draw a £500k jackpot sooner or later. The rest was cheaply earned
glory and riches.
I
never played PM1, but by all accounts the sequel was a tweaked
improvement. Even the box had some magic about it, with its
photo of someone's - clearly meant to be Sir Alex's - head in
mid-bark at a changing room of red-shirted heroes. The game
came on a single floppy disk with a sardonically written instruction
manual and little clue that years of helpless addiction were
contained therein.
At
the start, you could choose to manage any team you liked, as
long as it was in the Conference. I was always Macclesfield,
attempting to emulate - and better - the exploits of Sammy McIlroy,
or sometimes Gateshead, who played at the finely equipped International
Stadium that didn't need too many improvements over the years.
The easy option was newly relegated Scunthorpe, whilst the toughies
included Forest Green, a side so excellently named that it ought
to have played its matches in Scotland. Your squad's names loosely
tallied with real-life personnel, and you only ever got to see
your players' surnames, giving the experience a sort of old
Etonian flavour (or not). Having said that, you were able to
change their names, and there were times, bad times, when I
methodically altered mine to resemble Boro stars of the day
(Paul Wikinson!).
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Your
screen was taken up with a set of icons, each of which
led to some facet or other. First, there was the office,
which showed how popular you were, both with the Board
(keep the balance healthy) and supporters (they like results,
you see) and gave you a percentage score based on your
progress. There was also a picture here of the club secretary,
a Kirsty Gallacher lookalike with big tits whose facial
expression mirrored your current situation. She scowled
if you were on a losing streak, and looked ready to offer
oral relief if you'd hit the Premiership heights. Fantastic
stuff.
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In the squad page, you could decide your XI for the upcoming
match and decide formation and tactics. The latter element you
only had to visit once if you got it right at the start. My
favourite was the 4-3-3, with short passing and a counter-attacking
philosophy (because even then, Fergie's style of play was the
one to emulate). Each player had a different set of statistics,
a mark out of 99 for tackling, passing and so forth, with a
degree of complexity that made Football Manager look like one
plus one is two, but gave Championship Manager the qualities
of quantum physics. Hidden attributes were viewed as unfair,
so what you saw really was what you got, and if this wasn't
simple enough, each player had an overall rating. These ranged
from Fair (with a star scale of one to five), on to Good and
then Very Good, through to the very best, known as Exceptional.
Alan Shearer would have been the latter, and the Premiership
was cluttered with these behemoths, whereas your starting side
was largely 'fair' with the odd 'good' player lumped in.
The
transfer screen had far more about it than Football Manager's
rather limited options, but only ever offered you a selection
of listed players. There wasn't an option to make an approach
for someone not on this list, but you hardly needed it with
a reasonable spread to choose from. Again, things were made
straightforward, as there were always some free players thrown
in for good measure. Was this an echo of the Bosman-dominated
era to come, or just cop outery? Either way, you could recruit
a decent army with unreasonable speed to blast its way out of
the Conference and beyond, which led to armchair fans everywhere
wondering why everyone just didn't do this in reality. As though
they could…
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Onto
match day, and a black screen that flashed up relevant information
when it happened. A sort of spirit level was in the centre,
within which a football quivered in the direction of whoever
was dominant at the present moment. Whenever someone was
taking a shot, everything would stop, and an animation depicted
the ball heading towards goal. If the goalkeeper saved or
the ball went wide, the action settled back down, but when
it went in a joyous 'GOAL!' flashed up. |
You
could set this up to work at varying speeds, and as in CM I
used to crank it up to the fastest setting possible. Why, after
all, eke out the tension? Typically, if you'd sorted this game
out, the score you'd end up with would be a crushing 4-1 win,
with all your goals coming in the first 20 minutes. Strangely,
I never grew tired of this, or was it just me who was strange?
It
was actually a fairly straightforward exercise to romp through
the English league structure (sometimes achieving promotion
in successive seasons) and come to rule the Premiership. Indeed
I used to see the Silkmen win European honours year after year,
along with claiming everything the domestic scene had to offer.
It was possible to go through the regular season without losing
a match, so that ultimately any campaign that saw our boys finish
with a points haul under 110 was viewed as a disappointment.
But this wasn't all that PM2 had to offer.
Back
then, managers had a workload that fitted the definition. Alongside
all the team duties was a mandate to maintain financial buoyancy,
and unlike in Football Manager, this involved more than just
taking out bank loans with all the carelessness of an undergraduate
planning a night out. There wasn't all that much more to it,
though. The main duty was to oversee which advertising boards
were to be used, and here Gremlin offered a tip for budding
economists - always choose the advertisers who paid the most.
Hey, thanks for that. The boards themselves generally plugged
other Gremlin products, which was a nice touch of in-product
marketing from the boys. Jurassic Park, eat your heart out.
You also had to take charge of stadium development, building
up the Moss Rose's substandard ground into something worthy
of the football league (this never seems to include Hartlepool
in reality, mind) through beefing up the facilities, adding
a roof, and so forth. The obvious knock-on effect of your improvements
was seen in attendance growth, which you could raise further
by adding block after block of new stands, eventually transforming
your lowly home into the Nou Camp.
So
there was something for everyone, from the prudent Lennie Lawrence
types through to shrewd, Wenger-esque tacticians. In truth,
Premier Manager II was never much cop. It was far too easy,
just like Footballer of the Year before it in fact, and plopped
the route to glory in your lap in a way that CM never does.
At least in the latter, you have to work for your success; there
is a cogent sense of achievement when you get your Conference
side to the pinnacle. Gremlin's pioneering game had something
about it though, and later simulations have adopted many of
the elements it contained. The following year, Premier Manager
3 was released, and let you do things like watch a match in
action (don't get excited; this involved ill-shaped pegs shuffling
around a pitch) and listen to a pathetic, looping tune that
ended up sending many gamers into murderous rages. I hated it.
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